There was this man who kept having horrible pain in his scrotum, and it got to the point where he just could not function anymore. He finally decided to consult a doctor about it....

"Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with me but I keep getting these terrible pains," he said. "Well", the doctor said, "let's run some tests and see what we can do."

And so the man underwent all sorts of poking, prodding, scanning, etc. Finally, the doctor was ready with his diagnosis. "I've found out that your pain is caused by your testicles pressing up against your spine, and I am sorry to say that I think it has caused you to have testicular cancer." "Oh, so what can we do, doctor?", asked the man anxiously.

"Well, there's lot's we can do for you, but first we'll have to remove the pressure on your spine by removing your testicles.", the doctor answered.

At this answer, the man was stunned, given that this would be a major decision, and he decided to think it over. In the end, though, he simply could not stand the pain any longer and decided to have the surgery to remove his testicles. A day or two after surgery, the man found himself quite a little tender and very depressed, so he decided to go for a walk. He spotted a tailor's shop and, in an effort to cheer himself up, decided to get new clothes.

"Can I help you, sir?", asked the sales clerk as soon as he walked in. "Yes", the man said, "I'd like to get a new suit." The sales clerk looked at him..."All right...hmmm, a 42 long, right?". "Well, yes!", the man said in surprise, "How did you know?". "It's my job to know." the clerk answered, smiling...

The clerk then went on, saying "Your shirt would be a 17 1/2, and some new shoes and socks, hmmm, a 10 1/2". The man was amazed and feeling good because it was unusual to find anyone who could size him up so accurately and quickly! While he tried on his new clothes, the clerk suggested some new underwear, and the man agreed.

"I'll be right back with a size 36", the clerk said. "A-hah!", the man exclaimed. "That's wrong! I'm a 34 and I've worn size 34 underwear since college.", he proudly proclaimed .

"Oh, no, no..", the clerk said confidently, "You are a size 36. If you wore size 34 underwear it would cause your testicles to press up against your spine and could give you testicular cancer!"